Do men truly love once?

They say that men and women act different, love different and have different reactions to how they feel. I believe that a man will only truly love once, after that, he’ll never love like that again and that he’ll always ONLY be in love with just that one….that he will take that love to the grave. Forget women, women love anything, if its not shoes its a dress, or the new lipstick in town 😂😂😂😂 in relationships they even don’t know who they love in fact each guy has a certain percentage when the are heart broken they are distraught yes but they will heal and move on but there’s is for another day. Most men don’t admit it some brush it off some don’t believe but some part of it is true. Yes a man can have a lot of women in his life some just messing with ,others because they got a nice ass , or because shes always around you,but there’s that one girl that you can’t get over you can’t stop thinking about, that girl that comes to your mind when you listen to a certain song or watch a certain movie or pass by a certain place,no matter how many times you argue, ignores your calls, gives you nothing but bluebticks in whatsapp and that pisses you off but when your stupid drunk at 3 in the morning its her number that you’ll call, you’ll keep texting her even if she doesn’t reply because she does reply once in a while you keep hoping that this time shell reply. You decide not to talk to her completely but when she calls of course you’ll pick and reply her texts forgetting the many times she did snob you. If she ever asks to get back together you’ll not think twice about it you know why , because you love her,even when you get to a new relationship you’ll always keep comparing the others to her . I know that most will say its not true, and even argue out about the many chicks you can easily have than that that snobs you and you have your pride and ego,but you can have those other chicks you bang,hang out with call yo girl but you still wish it was her. As for you girls remember that guy that keeps stalking ,texting you regardless of how many times you ignore him he still calls you at 3am for no reason……well now you know why. Some people don’t totally believe in love,others call it “euphoric recall” where were stuck up in the past with the memories we once had not wanting to create new ones ,I believe its love and for those who do…. there’s always that one girl in your life if she’s not there yet she’ll come. But remember I said a man and well there may be one man out there that fits my theory.

knowing more of yourself.

Hello loves! I know its been a while I have no excuses whatsoever for my inconsistency but here I am once again its not easy trying to sleep at 3.00a.m with a mind full of thoughts. I have been asked couple of times by the gloriousglitch fam about a good read….well I am not sure if it will be a good one but I am sure its going to be a long one but please  do not get bored on the way .The other night I was watching a v log  from one of the most inspiring people I know , Karwira Laura it was one of the first v log on her you tube Chanel most of you know her as a blogger and singer but she started to do  v logging recently.  She was talking about knowing your personality, knowing who you are and she mentioned trying the Myers Briggs personality test to find out. Of course with my curiosity I did try it and found out I had an INFP-T personality, which she also happens to be  ….. how awesome is that haha. 

The Myers Briggs personality test actually is a 12 minutes test where you are just asked questions about yourself and urged to be as honest as possiblewhile answering. To others it might just be a test but as I answered those questions I realized I was actually learning about myself in aspects I had never imagined especially considering how imaginative I can be at times 😂😂😂. INFP has been given many mnemonics such as Inner Flame Passion That can truly shine  but its real abbreviation is Introversion ,Intuition, Feeling , Perception. Lets go with the abbreviation as the mnemonic is a little bit exaggerated. These abbreviations made me go back to the questions I was asked in relation to myself. 

Personally I tend not to introduce myself in a foreign crowd not even if it has two or three people that I know I would wait to be introduced if it does not happen ill just l will leave the place unknown. On  first impression people tend to think I am quiet and reserved maybe even shy but get me in a crown I am close with my laugh would be the loudest I  assure you. I often get lost in my own world even start questioning my  own existence when in distress, reasons why things happen the way they do, wonder what if a different lane was taken ,you know like how the flash changing the travel time lanes just to go to the past to save his mother  but end up putting Iris’s life in danger.(for the flash series fans I know you are with me ),I am sure you remember my last blog of how a single shoe lead to the writing of that piece😂😂😂. I would rather be behind the scenes than participate in a social events and never at any point be  the center of attraction but yes I always want to like to identify with something be appreciated we all do .  I can literally count the number of outings (or are they called flunkies… I don’t know)I  went to in high school they do not even add up to five  and its not even brag-able  because I was not a bookworm either lol . I realized that I have a tendency of being clear minded about something I have initiated if it comes to an incomplete stand still I would not have peace of mind rather have an unsettling feeling until its done even with the simple process of just trying to recover a password that I lost I always get extra worked up. I believe in creativity  not just a one channel way of dealing with issues …I always have plan B, C and even D if need be. I guess this  sums up the introversion part 

When it comes to intuition it mostly involves sensitivity like an inner insight to something. At times I tend to focus on more than reality  but on a realm that is more involved with instincts, belief or imagination. Trust me this trait is not as amusing as it sounds, as much as life is viewed better at a futuristic perspective we live in the present which has reality checks. Living in the present needs one to be in it , I tend to believe more in my intuitions even if facts are laid on the table which often does not lead to good decision making. It makes one over think and get ahead of yourself, as its said in our lay man language kujijazia…. Which means you start adding up dots that are not even there to begin with. The number of times I have done that is uncountable, and I have paid the price lost friends  , things, become unnecessarily stressed out for no good reason. But on the other hand intuition is a good thing, come to think of it one can sense bad energy from a mile away. I remember telling a friend  that I can always know when someone does not like me and he laughed…. Well newsflash I can because most of the time I am right. An added advantage of intuition it gives you a self defense mechanism that you are unaware of …. Life is not a bed of roses and not every one will be nice to you , people will love you support you only when its beneficial to them for as long as they need  to and when they get satisfied they will leave not considering the baggage they leave behind… to get by and survive we need to know how to defend ourselves from such people  if not find a way to go around them with minimum damage to ourselves. Intuition does come as a life saver here because  once you notice bad energy it will drive you to do two things. One is you will try as much as possible to avoid the situation or person that brings it, the second option is when the situation is inevitable it would lead to you lowering your expectation from the situation or person because ulishajijazia  and at the end this lowers the impact of damage that might arise .

When it comes to feeling even I cannot completely understand  but I will  try to explain from my own perspective . Feeling here was substituted with thinking , how one thinks of others, situations,environment and oneself. For those who know me my moods can change from 100% happy and jovial to 98% sad or irritated and vice versa, I have no idea how it happens but it just does 😂😂😂😂. Relating to other peoples feelings is almost normal to me, someone in a distressing situation can literally alter my moods…. I often put myself in their shoes and its not normally a good feeling. I believe in support during hard times than providing solutions, being there for someone is way better that moving heaven and earth to find them a solution when they are falling a part. I am always conscious of how my actions would affect other people… a little loop of vagueness in communication develops the feeling of worry and spend a lot of time figuring out if I did something wrong or not. As much as I do not let other peoples influence  affect the decisions I make, I tend to be in favor of decisions that make the people I care about comfortable and happy… and that also answers one of the questions of being emotionally unstable. The feeling where you avoid certain situations because deep down you know the outcome but you would not know how to handle it or maybe you’re just comfortable with the current situational status.
Finally lets finish with perception  , I hope you are all still with me please do not get lost on the way….


Perception is more of judgment ,  INFPs tend to withhold  judgment its not that we donot judge because everyone does but personally I tend not to express them… we mostly believe in proving oneself and second chances as well. We prefer to keep options open in light of a change of circumstances. We believe in loyalty rather than efficiency…. Just because someone you have known almost  your whole life  wronged you does not mean you cut them off and forget all the things they  did right   We value other peoples peace of mind other than our own personal wins at their expense, everyone has their own views of certain issues and expressing them is mandatory whether they have facts laid out or not as long as they are heard and have peace of mind.  How ever this leaves room for constant disappointment as we choose to see the good in people.


This was just a simple 12 minutes test … I have no idea if its proven true or not but all I know it brought a lot of insights on my personality. I have related to those four aspects in one way or another and I am sure some of you will too for the INFP fam. But It does not mean that now we fully know ourselves .. noo.. on the contrary  I believe this is a starting point because for me it is. Earlier in the day was talking to a friend you know one of those really serious talks about making certain decisions in life and ill quote the exact words used “the best way is to find yourself first and see what you wantand if you really need it then it will be worth the risk”  this coming from someone that wants nothing but the best from you gets you thinking a lot about who you are as a person and the decisions that you make. So Bestie I am getting there and thank you.

Anyone else trying to find yourself this test is not everything the only person who knows you through every strand of your hair and your whole being is The Almighty God , Only He will guide you to take the right path to knowing who you truly are. We  will  go through  storms and hit rock bottom but  do not doubt His will upon your life, sometimes God allows you to hit rock bottom to realize that He is the rock at the bottom, help you realize that all things do happen for your own good and He is intentional at all times in all His doing, He will help you back up , clean you up, help you re-invent yourself and know who are as you discover your purpose in this life because we all have one….. He will sustain you through it all and keep  you  for Himself. Just trust the process, maybe you reading this blog is one of them…. I  hope 😊

Thank you for reading to the end may God bless you all loves.

❤❤❤❤❤

Maybe its not just a shoe.

I know we all make those two ,to three maybe five Visits to the bathroom at night especially when you were just in the middle of a heavenly dream but make tables turn when when when your foot decides misbehave and you end up hitting on the door …mmh ouch! Well my trip from the bathroom this time was different….Ooh well I did hit something which almost made me trip that was no different.. lol!

I hit my shoe , well my nephew has this habit of removing almost all shoes from the shoerack and distributes them around the house like he’s being paid or something. The most annoying part is when you tell him to return them and he stares blankly at you like you’re speaking Greek and later smile like you just complemented him….which is soo cute so you just let him get away with it.

Well anyway after hitting the shoe I decided to take it back to the shoerack but my trip got stuck on the arms of the couch….I just stood there and started examining the shoe and mind you it was in the dark. I remember seeing the shoe at first before even buying it…a black heel with gold details at the front and also at the back…how excited was I you have no idea  !!! It was just some  months before my attachment and all I could imagine was how I was gonna rock those heels 😂😂😂. My friends knew that it was impulse buying because first I’m not a heels kind of girl infact I wear sneakers almost all the time and still trip on things that arent even there….also to them the shoes weren’t that pretty. But once this girl here has an eye for something she gets it,so I bought the shoe. We did have good times during our early days (me and my newly found love-shoe- that is) as far as I can remember. So that night I put on the shoe to try it on …little test drive you know… and guess what, it did not fit like it used to, and worse it was a little unstable because I stumbled with just three steps , don’t know know if it was the shoe or me but I think the shoe. Wouldn’t say it was a while because I doubt my feet added so many inches within such a short time .  My friends right now would say I told you so, but thing is I’d still wear the shoe even if I would end up with blisters but of course with sandals in my bag just in case.

Away from the drama I had that night here’s what that shoe taught me. Holding that shoe that night was like holding someone’s heart’s actions or lets say emotions. We all see someone  and there the heart goes jumping with excitement. Your brain which works efficiently at the time say no, your friends who aren’t even part of you think otherwise too but you don’t care YOLO right! So you do what your heart tell you to. For a while you are sure you are in the right path, the memories keep on pilling and ohh you feel like you can fly. Your brain suddenly becomes the hater so do all you’re friends so you swash them away.

As they always say real is as fake as it gets, because suddenly  the shoe don’t fit no more. Your heart that was jumping up and down like a crazy minion is now on time out , the pieces don’t fit it’s like the puzzle was all wrong. What was a castle all stable and coloufull is now on the verge of crumbling because the instability can’t go any further. Now it’s the heart telling you I told you so after all this time…. ikr …  that amount of betrayal is just unbelievable.

 But it’s your heart  love whatever actions it takes you have to wear it carry it wherever you go and deal with all the trouble it brings…just the same way I would still wear my heel but with an extra pair is sandals 😂😂😂😂.
From me to you 💗💗💗

Finding yourself.

Hey loves, a decade it seems before you guys heard from me right haha! But here I am you will get used to my magically appearing and disappearing acts someday. Sometimes I write because of thoughts from conversations,friends but mostly I  write for me….. and I’m sure there are a lot of me’s out there. I can bet on that.

Well this year I did start with a certain degree of hypness that I kind of knew would lead me to a swamp(negative hypness it must have been). You know the thing is you reach a point in your life when you need some kind of drama not like the one in reality shows but maybe a little of it, you reach a point where the excitement is like an adrenaline giving you a kind of feeling that even surpasses cloud nine. Something out of your comfort zone , away from the eat, sleep ,wake up daily routine .  I got that feeling after new years, and with the YOLO in mind  I did go with the flow. You Only Live Once they say haha. Did make certain decisions that had consequences , and as life is never linient on anyone I had to face them later on. But the thing is I don’t regret any of it…here’s why. I have a belief that whatever action you take there are three reasons behind it:-      1.  Deep down you wanted to do it.              2. You were meant to do it in fact God willed you to it.

So loves regrets only weigh you down just find away to get around it without it consuming you….because that’s exactly what I did. The things I could change I did and I’m still doing the changes ,those that I can’t well only the Guy up there can help me .  sometimes you reach a point where you need to be crashed,to be broken down so as to be rebuild to the specifications God meant for you. You need to hibernate and fix yourself. You can also see the fixable flaw in you, you don’t need no one to tell you that. I’m not saying flaws are bad and there’s a reason why I said “fixable”. Some flaws define you and make you who you are and there’s nothing better to trade for in this world with it. But if your flaw is communication love there are books that help with that, if its not appreciating others start with yourself… Pep talks do work, if you are procrastinating everything get a reminder and work on actions rather than just ideas, call that friend you’re not talking to and start up a conversation ..be the bigger person. Fixing the fixable flaws at some point makes us feel like we belong, or like we are doing something right or we are some how complete….maybe it’s just me bt it’s how I see it .

You don’t need to shut the world out while fixing the fixable flaws …no .  All  you need is to sorround yourself with the best people that would help you through that, people who will understand that you can’t do this and that , respect your reasons and support you 100%. Surround yourself with love, friends, family, happy faces. Get out more ,love more,explore more . You don’t just get there immediately Rome wasn’t build in a day, but at the end be genuinely the happy you. I can’t say I’m in a good place but as they say the journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.

 Peace of mind is key to happiness of the soul loves.

You can be the sunshine in the room if you want to be.

Not trying is the worst mistake. 

Heard

I heard a voice in my head say do this the outcome would be just as you want no one would get hurt infact everyone would be happy. … And then I heard another say what if youre wrong , what if it turns out not as you want and everyone blames you for it?   

Each  voice in my head made sense but picking the devil’s voice  and the angel’s voice was the problem because apparently they had the same voice,  tone and even sincerity…. Ever been between a rock and a hard place??  Well I have hundreds of times but at the end I have to make a decision basing on the voices I heard in my head about the issue. Only after making the decision would you know the outcome. And besides that’s the reason why second chances exist. 

 They say decisions make our lives what what they are today,  it determines our fate or better yet our destiny and even that of those around us ,  so do theirs .  No one knows what is right and what is wrong , even I  myself don’t but we have to try there is a reason those voices are heard.  The fate of man is determined by whatever decisions or path he tries to avoid… So whatever voices you hear in your head may it be hissing of the devil or your guardian angel go with your guts and just do it … Trust Your instincts..  the worst mistake you can ever do is not try.  It don’t matter which voice you heard was right at the end! 

What you have Vs what you want.

Each of us has desires what we want to have may it  be cars, dream houses, certain jobs, kids, love, shoes  for those not fortunate enough just to have food and somewhere to sleep would light up their faces.  But we focus on wants and forget what we already have what life has given us presently… What we hold in our hands that can easily be snatched or worse fall and be broken …. just then would we start appreciating something what we already lost. 

Contentment doesn’t mean we forget aspiring for more and working hard to achieve your goals noo… It means that one appreciates what they have been given and this brings more blessings and your wants would flow.  Contentment means acceptance it means you no longer lustfully desire what is not yours but you are proud of what you have . Once you reach that point everyone else would see your glow they would even want to be like you , want  what you have even when you think you have nothing. If you’re not appreciating what you have then its obvious when you have what you want you’ll still not appreciate it . You would still not see the goodness in it because you never did from the beginning… Your desires were not truthful

Recognizing what you have enjoying and loving it makes it a part of us and no matter what happens or what else is added we will never loose it..may it be cars whether it was an old junk it sure did give you breakdown memories,  friends would stick as long as you treat them right those who leave don’t carry the memories along with them,  family always have your back in whatever situations and returning the favour brings them closer, work will always pay bills and keep you out of debt just do it passionately you will feel the contentment,  your kids ..  Raise them right and believe in the love you give them they will take care of you when your old and weary. But once we loose touch of all these we will never get to where we desire to be in life…. Each of us has family ,  friends,  a job,  parents or kids somewhere they are what you have and appreciating them will eventually bring what we want whatever it may be. 

At some point we may feel like we have nothing at all but love just close your eyes,  Take a deep breathe and look around you , You have the gift of life that’s a start to getting all you want aslong as you appreciate it.   :):):):)

Put yourself in their shoes.

Each event, happening incident has a learning experience ,you just have to be open minded. I had a colleague yesterday ask me to help him draft a letter asking for advance in payment, after he was done he came showed me what he had done and was on his way taking it for approval. Looking at that letter all I could think of was my dad, your parents,our parents…..how many times do we insist that we want this and that from them and even give them a deadline, not caring how they get the resources to do what we ask of them.

 

I had no idea what that colleague of mine wanted to do with that money but the look on his face, the worry in his eyes made my heart ache from the inside. He made me open my eyes, see how far our parents  are willing to go to make ends meet, how far their trust in God goes is undefined. As that man took his advance payment for approval not knowing if he would be able to pay the debt as per the deadline…. he still takes it, he still believes it would be approved , he would be able to do what he has budgeted and  even pay it when it matures.

It just goes without saying, be understanding , kind and helpful to your guardians whenever we make demands from them be it financial, physical, spiritual and even mental, lets understands that they are humans and  therefore not perfect. Gone are the days when we were little kids and believed that mom and dad had the answers  to everything , there is nothing they did not know. We grew up and realized that life never comes as easy even those born with a silver spoon have their own storms that we know nothing about. Those we love go out of their way to make us comfortable to make us go through life  hustles with a smile, they try their best to make us better people.

Tomorrow  you will be the parent and just as you are treating yours so will your kids treat you. My mom tells me whatever I do to her my kids will do the same and even multiply by 2 I normally  laugh it off but she is right…. choose wisely how you want to be treated. Be wise by being  kind and understanding to those that care about us.

And just remember that in this life, no one wants you to be successful  more than your parents do.

On that note help me wish my amazing Dad a Happy Happy Birthday

I love you Papa.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Appreciate each year’s growth!

​Hey loves, I know its been long but here I am once again. The year is almost  ending ….i know …soo fast right were getting old which is soo sad😔 . Well I do not know what each of you has been through this year but either way something happened and will still happen…. a lot can happen in three weeks you know. This year has taught me a lot of things some I cant even remember to account for but I am grateful for all. The most important thing this year taught me is that I need God in my life more than ever. Getting to where we all are is not by our might,right or desire , its by God’s favor and grace upon our lives.

 We have gone through  a lot this year , we have had  good times, bad times, moments we wish to forget and memories we cherish. As this year went by we discovered more about our purpose in this life, I am still understanding mine too, but what I know is that as we live each day, interact with people day by day whether at work ,in school, on the streets , in church ..they one way or another help us get to our purpose in this life. Everyone positioned in your life has a purpose and as they help  you so are you helping them in their life journey , no one is an island. I for one  thank every one that came to my life, those angels sent to help me during trying times you are trully appreciated,those friends and who stayed I pray you do so next year too and the years to come as for those who left I believe it was best.  Every new year comes with growth of some certain degree….embrace it.

This years some of us have gone through storms that made us loose hope ,lost faith, lost loved ones, lost opportunities, and even given up at some point , but God led us through it all He cant give you what you cant handle the storm will pass and God will be there with you through it all… next year would be a better one love. Life can never be easy , someone has to say No to you so you can learn to be independent,you need storms and enemies to succeed and enjoy your Success ,you need to be intimidated to be  courageous, people sometimes need to mock you so you can run to God, people need to disappoint you so that you can trust God alone, you need a cruel landlord so that you can learn not to be comfortable in someone else’s house and even build your own, you need to loose some people in your life to appreciate those you have , you need  to go though rough times to appreciate the good times.

 Most sometimes we are very disappointed we feel very bad and tend to remain in that spot not knowing that the end point of disappointment is the beginning of accomplishment, love , whatever you have gone through this year is just a stepping stone to something greater, make the new year a new beginning , leave the baggage behind do not carry them forward because if they did not help you this year then next year will not be any different. Next year learn to compromise but not be taken for granted,learn to take what is yours and let go what isn’t, learn to wear your accomplishments with pride,learn to trust but not be deceived,know your worth and that of others, learn to love but not be used learn to appreciate the only important curve you have which is your smile, next year love life,give people second chances, be optimistic and wear   that flawsomeness and Godfidence with the pride it deserves.

A collegue once told me , as people will be out there celebrating and counting seconds to the new year… love take a knee thank the Almighty for the blessings and write down what you want,what you need , trust me next year you will do nothing but witness those needs fulfilled… I am so trying that this year I hope you do too. 😊😊

May you have a merry merry Christmas and a blessed new year loves !

From my ♥ to yours☺☺☺