Dear future best friend.

I know I’m probably too young to think  about a future best friend  (hubby) but I don’t want to overburden God with prayers about you at the rush our age πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚so I better say my peace now. A glimpse of a life with you is  what I hold on to when I’m lonely or sad I hold on to that last thread of hope. I decided to write so that wherever you are you’ll find all my quotes, words, read them all and know they’re all about you. You maybe two months away, fifty years away ,even already here but I’m too blind to see or possibly never happening but I’ll write anyway. 

First I’ll have to say I’m sorry for giving my heart away too many times you maybe receiving me a little bruised and bent. There are many bridges I’ve had to build others burn before I get to you so just bear with me. I’m sorry for being impatient, I know you’re not perfect the only list I made is for you to be more in love with Jesus than with me…with that He will teach you to love me perfectly though Perfection is not my forte , I don’t need you to be Michael Xavier sinfully s*xy ,or Kevin hart  funny but we must always keep humour in our lives be our crazy goofy selves  with each other I believe humor is in our DNA  πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. 

Just to let you know your future best friend is a hopeless romantic, these Disney movies we grew up watching spoilt us , and again my name keeps ringing romeo in everyones lips  but none actually owns the name, makes me wonder when did parents stop calling their kids romeo and why  πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. I pray to God for your divine protection,health and abundance. You might not be the next donald trump but I believe in humble beginnings and we’ll get there or somewhere,So take your time I have your back …. yes we will be balling hard which is totally heavenly because earth is ours to inherit. I’m not for the soap opera kind of love, I am for a home in the suburb’s, highland hikes perfect for hoodies, bonfires and lip singing ,acoustics and guitars in the wild . 


You can have as much alcohol as you want but don’t make it a part of you like morning shower, or late night coffee …please for my sake . As for womanizing and cheating , the least touched on the better..you would know with time I’m not generous in sharing joysticks.  When it comes to family ….spend good time with them because family is everything in whatever situation….I like them already  πŸ˜Š. I am rooting for you even when every one seems to be against you just know that I’m out here cheering you on ….never  ever give up.  I may loose sometimes but don’t forget to let me try …..don’t always let me win either.


We once dreamed of a prince charming,but nowadays it seems we have to crawl out of that tower and find him ourselves ..if you give up  and stay in that tower you are letting him down and will never get the list he is writing to you. So I’m not giving up  I know I’ll find you someday.

I hope you  know I am trusting God to bring you in His own time. For now know I love you, I think of you and I’m praying for you. That’s all.  πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜Š


But I’d love to have a soulmate

And God’ll give him to me someday

And I know it’ll be worth the wait

Cause when the time is right you’ll be here

                 Dear no one ~Tori Kelly.

Honesty!

​Honesty…… in the 21st century honesty is something so hard to come by. People keep covering up what they really feel as they fear being judged or called weaklings. But everyone has an honest moment every once in a while . At times honesty does not need to be said but observed.

 The look of honesty comes in different ways without one intending to show as we have no control over our emotions. When one wakes up and  they have forgotten their surrounding as they struggle figuring out where they are, that look they give is priceless. The look in someone’s eyes when they realize that they are in love ,the look between two people in love as they get lost in each others eyes. That gasp  one takes when their favorite character dies in a movie –when Augustine had to die in faults in our stars – but then you remember its just a movie and hate yourself for it.   πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

when they are drunk and wasted and cant help but be honest. Yes if you want to know how someone feels about something just get them drunk they will totally say it all . That moment when someone is at their breaking point and they cant hold it together anymore , all they can do is breakdown and let it all out…. That is honesty. When someone closes their eyes just to  drift somewhere in the clouds, the look when someone just stops and stares at the rainbow as they absorb its beauty, the look when someone stares at the sky and close their eyes to make a wish when they see a shooting star. The look of honesty you give a friend in an exam room and she gives you the same innocent look then you know you are both doomed …Lol. 

The look of honesty when you are really sorry for something wrong you did that your even more hurt than the one you wronged . That moment when you cant help but laugh out so loudly without caring how awful you sound. That moment when you have taken enough shit from someone so you decide to speak your mind and let every thought about them be heard in the open. Loves , life is a series of natural spontaneous changes . Don’t resist them , let reality be reality let things flow naturally in whatever way thy like thats what makes life beautiful… look around you and appreciate those honest moments. 

Love is honesty 

Honesty is happiness

Happiness is beauty! 😊😊😊😊

Being always first priority.

First priority…I have always had my own version of first priority that some would say is out of this world…bt you can’t blame a girl for dreaming ..lol . Being first priority to someone is not a verbal affair BT a matter of action intertwined with emotions, affection and love as a topping .

 Where anytime of the day that someone only thinks of you and no one else. You’re assured all they do, you are their first priority and consider how you would feel about any action they take. You’re sure that you don’t care more than they do, you don’t love more than they do,your emotions are matched its like your hands perfectly fit into each other’s. To have eye contact with someone and with no doubt feel that what you feel is reciprocated its like their eyes are a window to their soul and so are yours. To wait for a text knowing that it’ll come even if it’ll take hours bt it’ll come… I call it another version of faith.  To have faith that someone will always put you first , talk to you anytym they’re free, you are the first person they call on a free day or an event they have to go to, the person that your sure to get a morning text and also the last person to talk to before you sleep. Someone who will text you when he gets time and you’ll reply immediately you get his text because you understand.

Permission to talk to you or call you is non existance because to them its a right.Someone who won’t be settled knowing you’re not okay someone whose tears would be welled up just by seeing yours. For your lips to be spoiled not just once but over and over again for years and decades. To feel the happiness of unbroken promises and accomplished plans. To be introduced as someone special and not just a friend or merely no one. To know you are known possibly even shown off and not kept behind closed doors , sometimes it feels nice to know you’re someone’s trophy

 Knowing someone will listen to your favorite song,watch your favorite movie even five times, read your blogs not because they like it but simply because its yours. To be appreciated always, be told that you always come first.someone who’s there for you in all your meltdowns and is always on your side ,never calls you crazy with all your tantrums. Someone who will never disappear when there’s an argument but instead stay because they actually care about you and the relationship you have. Be the first person to be called when something sad  or exciting happens in his life because he  feels you deserve to know. Some one who has seen the best and the worst of you ,who has seen you when you wake up in the morning with swelled up eyes and messy hair, who has seen the you with all the make up and still thinks your beautiful, he’s not afraid to let down tears in your presence because he knows you understand whether its caused by a me before you movie or when he looses a loved one , he knows you care and only you can help him get through it ….you have a connection. 

Someone who will kiss your scars because to him they are not flaws but cracks to be filled by his love for you his priority is to make you whole. Hell let yoh make mistakes not because he doesnt care but wants you to be independent and when you fall,give up, loose hope he’ll pick you up wipe your tears away and never wish for you to cry. 

Someone who is always concerned about you, someone that makes you feel you are worth getting jealous over,worth fighting for, who will say no to hurting you because he knows its not worth loosing what he has no matter how many times hes told its clichΓ©.  Someone who will make you fall in love with you all over again everyday, who will rather you get comfy in your tees watching Netflix and cuddle just you two make your own musical tune rather than dance to loud music in a crowded place like the rest,get high on love and not alcohol, let you not struggle balancing in stilletoes at 3a.m but prefer getting you off your feet carry you to the stars and get intertwined with your heart and soul, lets you be real , be raw  ,be just you two and what you feel. 

Have Someone who will give you a whole zoo and butterflies wouldn’t just make the cut! 

That’s what first priority feels like loves!

Stop holding on and just be held.

Today casting crowns literally spoke to my heart and soul. Every word they sang in the song just be held is what I am to write so most of the words are theirs not entirely mine.

“Just Be Held”

Hold it all together

Everybody needs you strong

But life hits you out of nowhere

And barely leaves you holding on
 Some of us are the head always looked up to by family, friends, parents …we are expected to have answers for everything. At times we do well at it bt some times life turns on us. You almost give up but when you remember those who look up to you …you struggle holding on but at times we forget holding on does more harm than letting go. The next verse tells us to do just that….let go.

And when you’re tired of fighting

Chained by your control

There’s freedom in surrender

Lay it down and let it go

Fighting is healthy, helpful and necessary but at times we hurt ourselves too much…if God knew you had the fight in you trust me you wouldn’t be struggling this much. Just let go and leave it to him remember where our might ends, that’s where God’s might starts.

The chorus ……mmh it gets me in the nodding and singing along mood as its just what we need in that trying moment.

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away

You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held

Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place

I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

Just be held, just be held


God has never ,will never leave his throne …He is not like these kings in Nigerian movies that die and their sons take over their thrones noo! God is , was and will be the same . He is the beginning and the end  alpha and omega …there’s no worry of coming to the kings throne to find a new king that you have to start retelling all your troubles. He remembers, is with you all the way and no matter what you go through he’s there,He got you love  πŸ˜Š. Every single prayer you utter doesn’t fall to deaf ears so don’t think he ain’t listening,don’t think your world is falling apart in fact its falling into place, the place it should be.

If your eyes are on the storm

You’ll wonder if I love you still

But if your eyes are on the cross

You’ll know I always have and I always will.

We are humans and our emotions at times are beyond our control . when in anger we say and do things we don’t really mean and regret later on. This is because all we see is the storm were going through, the fire and how much it hurts when it burns….but just remember just because it burns doesn’t mean you’ll die and the storm is just as beautiful as the rainbow. If you have that faith and still remember who is walking with you through the fire and through the storm,you will not doubt his love his unending everlasting love. Don’t focus on the storm but the aftermath.

And not a tear is wasted

In time, you’ll understand

I’m painting beauty with the ashes

Your life is in My hands

 This verse is a total reflection of the clay and the potter story. That moment you feel your crushing and burning , that you feel you just hit a wall and you need a miracle remember that God is molding you to what he wants you to be not who you want to be. That’s why he has to break you down to pieces and start moulding you from scratch. All the tears,the pain ,the hurt , alienation is not  a waste it would soon turn to joy happiness, love and peace within as they say He is painting beauty with the ashes ….let Him.
Lift your hands, lift your eyes

In the storm is where you’ll find Me

And where you are, I’ll hold your heart

I’ll hold your heart

Come to Me, find your rest

In the arms of the God who won’t let go

This last verse is the icing on the cake ..the summary. During these trying times and your prayers seem to be given a wait answer or maybe all you see is a no answer…we resort to doing other things ,look for other solutions to ease our pain ,we look for the easy way out. These solutions are only temporary  permanent solutions would come if only you lift your eyes up to the Lord. Don’t look for short -cut solutions..look for God in the storm He is always there waiting for you to find Him,waiting to show you the way out of the storm, to take you to a resting place in his arms ,somewhere that your assured He will hold you and never let you go.

Just be held loves …just be held!

Love seekers

Love is not everyones cup of tea me being one of them but trust me there will come a time when someone will come into your life , consume you physically ,mentally, emotionally…you will be like a chiwawa and hes your handler everything you do will be to fit in to his box of expectation .your whole worlds revolves around him not in your wildest dream will you think of hurting him, and even if you did unintentionally you won’t stop apologizing for it. 

No one chooses who to love or even when to fall in love…it just happens in the blink of an eye.you realise you cant spend a day without thinking about that person, talking to them daily is like a routine …like late night coffees, he’s like a drug that never gets depleted in your system. The best part of love is when its reciprocated a two sided kind we give all we have and the same amount is returned to us ..where you are both in it together you both get consumed and intoxicated by each other ,when that person changed the way your heart beats and you just kept dancing to the new rhythm  hoping the song never ends. Its still feeling the same way without the kisses,dates and holding hands but with the weirdness, flaws ….seeing each other as perfectly imperfect. As they say nothing good is ever perfect. Its finding someone that sees beyond all your flaws to something you never knew existed in you. He sees the best in you , appreciates you always, spends time with you, the kind of person who texts you at 2 p.m because he misses you because your busy and not the kind who texts you at 2a.m because he’s lonely. Someone who knows you better than you know yourself ,when your distressed in anon talking mood he’s there to hold you listen to all your rants and let’s you cry on his shoulders till you fall asleep….not the bootycall type.

 When it comes to love its a bargain, the possibility of hurt is always evident but you’ll never know how beautiful it might turn out so don’t be afraid to be the one to love the most,say I love you first, text first, call first…love first because some of us are hard to love with all the edges and missing parts but once we get to know the drill that you’re real we’ll definitely take the high road together and be ride or dies. Love never fades once its there that’s what I believe ..once you have a connection with someone no matter the duration apart it’ll still be there you go back to being important to each other cause you never stopped. Youll still remember those baby names you chose five years ago and laugh of how old fashioned they are and even start choosing new ones, you’ll still feel the same way you felt five years ago like it as just yesterday.  Love is not easy to but you have to get out there, love, make mistakes, learn from them ,be stronger and start all over again take a chance be a risk taker. 

Allow yourself to be loved let you walls be broken down as he  rebuilts those walls he will even add windows to let sunshine in.  You might not need rescuing BT maybe your night and shining armor needs a bad ass princess to rescue him. As independent as you are not needing a man to make it in this world, a smart woman knows how much fun it is to have a  Leonardo deCarprio to carry you when your tired of kicking ass. I don’t know about fake or true loves existence but I know one thing if its meant for you you won’t have to beg for it, you won’t sacrifice your dignity for your destiny.

Relationships.

What we always wish for is to wake up next to that person you give your life to, to wake up with breakfast in bed , a second cup of coffee from her favorite cup, a bouquet of flowers just to wish you a nice day at work, a facebook relationship that has everyone commenting relationshipgoals, someone to give us Monday morning texts , terrific Tuesday partner, karaoke Wednesdays bff,Sundays church date , that plus one for those weddings you get invited to on saturdays as you plan on your on and hurdle up ideas. we want those relationships we see in soaps that happen magically that end up with happily ever after but in reality its never that simple 

All we do friend zone,Shakespeare zone  those we fear are getting too close. Have bffs and even make pacts of how you’ll marry each other in case you never get your soulmates …lol been there done that. we look for those soulmates like how we look for apps in play store, those apps that fit what you want if they don’t you uninstall them immediately,we Google how to make him like you, 10 ways to know your crush is also into you, 5 ways to make her love you but forget to put those in to action forgetting they are just theoratical. We focus on pimping our Instagram an Facebook profiles forgetting your character is at it’s lowest 

We talk forgetting talk is cheap, Snapchat forgetting after 24 hrs your story is history, face time, meet to small talk for an hour only to get home to start endless chats , sext, hangout, have pizza and Beer just to avoid having a real date. We are all players in a way or another with no winner. Forgetting that were loosing ourselves in the process, we want to be hand held without eye contact, to have a happily ever after without working for it, to be swept off our feet and still remaining in your comfort zone safe as always, to be loved and not compromise, to be pampered BT still remain independent,we want to be loved without accepting the possibility of being hurt, we want to be in relationships BT not committed to it because you don’t want to miss the constant serenades and attention from the suitors you have but still can’t pick one, we want to be in the field playing but at the same time be on the bench,we want to be in the race car but not be the driver.
When things get too real we shut people out, we tend to act like were not up for it ,we run ,we hide and that’s how people loose a real relationship convincing ourselves that someone else will come along , someone better than the last bt your growing old and those looks will not be there for much longer.we want to keep things shallow and expect them to turn out deep, to be in something close to a relationship and not even reflects what a relationship entails, we don’t want relationships but we want Netflix and chill, friends with benefits, no strings attached kind of relationship, we prefer the Instagram filters to show how perfect we are bt keep the imperfections  hidden in our closet yet we want to be loved despite our flaws, we prefer to watch another episode on Netflix than have a one on one conversation. Were that generation that fights over who texted first and not who will switch off the lights when going to bed, spend all day thinking about each other but not bother calling, texting or visiting that person as you don’t want to be seen asdesperate. Your ego is at kanye level bt your drake feelings consume and kill you slowly. Until when well decide to pay attention to our environment, put down your phone better still switch it off go for a date, or even just look around you and see where you went wrong, you might even realize you don’t like how the guy your dating laughs BT you never noticed since your always snapchating,on Instagram, whatsapping and facebooking ….until then relationship is not your thing at the moment love  πŸ˜Š

Relax! Its just half your life.

Everyone has their timeline when things happen for them. Some of your friends now are happily married,others still getting high on drugs and girls,your ex maybe happy with the new girlfriend,your classmate is wallowing in success …but you …your just there existing with constant expenses, issues on issues you feel left out and just wish to sleep in all day. Stay in on Friday nights cause you’re too responsible to drink ,or just the fear that the way things are going you better sleep in other than add up on your bundle of hardships considering what possibilities could occur on a typical night out. You even get too comfortable by yourself wrap yourself around your loneliness and even fear to loose yourself to someone else’s rhythm. Loneliness takes us to dark places and we even start cursing at ourselves and thinking of the different what ifs, we start torturing ourselves with questions we can’t even answer. Like where did I go wrong? What if this is how the rest of my life turns out to be? What did the others do that I didn’t do? Loneliness makes us do what we swore not to do, it makes us go back to the ones who hurt us just to feel loved once again, makes us text those we swore not to or even call them….it makes us forget our worth,forgetting that even at our best we still won’t be right to the wrong person so what about at your worst? But take it slow, its never that bad and its never that serious, you’re not there alone everyone has been there at some point in life ,its just a phase and it’ll Pass all you have to do is go through it, you have the whole world ahead of you, dozen of things to do ,people to meet, places to visit and things to experience.Years to come you’ll look back and wish to be back here again so don’t waste it wallowing in your sadness,self pity,do what you can visit a friend, go to the gym, watch your favorite movie even ten times, even discover your hobby and develop it you might discover talents you have that you have never known, its a time to discover yourself know your worth and love yourself. Do what you can today because they’ll never be another today again, its okay to be lonely , sad , we are humans after all but if your world is to revolve around someone let that someone be yourself. Yes we all want to b loved but ther only guarantee is loving yourself. You have only lived half of your life and you have the other half to live . Go through this phase you’ll have something to tell your grandies about when it comes to being in your twenties. Let those who are successful be successful, those having kids have them, those getting married let them, go eat their cake they’ll come eat yours someday, let those still getting high and clubbing have their time they’ll grow up as for you go through your phase you’ll also out grow the phase when the time comes.